A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good" replies his mother, "I've been very weak".
The son asks, "Why are you so weak?"
She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
"That's terrible" says the son, "Why haven't you been able to eat?"
The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food in case you should call me."
*
I am continuously amazed at how seemingly-insignificant details of the Torah contain powerful lessons about life. This week’s parsha Vayechi provides a remarkable example. Though it’s not ostensibly about mothers, it reminds us how much we ought to cherish our mothers!
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In his parting instructions to his son Yosef, Yaakov demands that after his imminent passing in Egypt, he be buried in Israel.
He then declares, “As for me, when I came from Padan, Rachel died to me in the land of Canaan on the way, when there was still a stretch of land to come to Ephrat, and I buried her there on the way to Ephrat, which is Beit-Lechem (Bethlehem).”
According to Rashi, Yaakov is mentioning the death and burial of Yosef’s mother in order to address Yosef’s natural reluctance to fulfill his father’s wishes.
Rachel is the only Matriarch or Patriarch not buried in the Me’arat HaMachpela in Chevron. Yaakov chose to bury her – alone – at the side of the road. According to Google Maps the distance is just over 20 miles, or about a 6-hour walk. Not around the corner, but certainly not too far to schlep to bury a spouse in an ancestral burial ground.
So how could he demand that his son bring his remains to Israel, a different country, hundreds of kilometers away?
Yaakov answers this by acknowledging that this probably pains Yosef all the more at this moment when Yaakov himself requests to be buried there, highlighting its importance. Therefore, Yaakov says: ‘Know that I buried her where I did because G-d commanded me to do so, in order to enable her to later play a pivotal role in the eventual redemption of our people. When Nebuzaradan exiles the Jewish people, and they pass by there, Rachel will emerge from her grave and weep and beg mercy for them. In her merit the Jewish people will return to the Holy Land.’
This eventually comes to pass and it is recorded in the book of Yirmiyahu (Jeremiah, Chapter 31) that the Jewish people were exiled from Jerusalem via the very same road where Rachel is buried. This moving piece is read as the Haftarah on the second day of Rosh Hashanah.
Yaakov also assures Yosef that his reward is plentiful. He alone among his brothers will have two tribes (Menashe and Ephraim) descended from him.
***
Let’s put ourselves in Yosef’s shoes for a moment. His mother is the only one excluded from the family burial plot. It’s because she is needed to do something special. Seems like a small consolation.
Was Yosef really placated by this explanation? Should he be satisfied that his mother was denied her burial spot?
Was this why Yaakov offered him the consolation prize of two tribes?
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Cheryl Anderson is an example of a mother who gave everything for her child, including her own life. Mothers, unique among all relationships, possess the deepest self-sacrifice. It isn’t something they resent; it’s something they embrace.
(This is why Jewish lineage is matrilineal; the bond between a mother and child penetrates the essence; it is the ultimate bond).
Rachel, the epitome of motherly sacrifice, did not resent being buried on the side of the road. Just the opposite – she embraced the opportunity to sacrifice her burial place for her children. In fact, this brings out the mother in her – and the profound link it creates – more than anyone else.
By mentioning this episode, Yaakov was not merely bargaining for his son’s agreement. Rather, Yaakov was consoling Yosef over his mother’s seemingly second-rate burial place, for considering the comfort that her burial there would bring to her children, certainly Rachel would herself have chosen to be buried there.
[Yaakov himself, the father of Judaism, was also admitting that he was incapable of connecting with his people at that level. Therefore, he insisted to be brought to the Me’arat HaMachpelah.]
Taken from this perspective, Yaakov’s promise that Menashe and Ephraim will be counted as tribes was not merely compensation. Rather, it’s an explanation.
As a natural consequence of her sacrifice to her descendants, Rachel merited that her son’s tribe should become two tribes.
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Now, that’s a real Yiddishe Mamme!
And, here's to all of the Yiddishe Mammes out there: THANK YOU!