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Rabbi's Blog

Rabbi Mendel's Blog

Rabbi Mendel's blog features his Dvar Torah (Torah lesson) column from the weekly E-TORAH, ocassional musings and other articles that he authors from time to time.
Your comments are welcome.

Give or Take

My daughter informed us of a dilemma she has at her dormitory. She can choose roommates who will give her a great time or she can choose roommates who may not be her best friends, but who look up to her and need her leadership. This was the choice her dorm counselor gave her.

My wife and I left the decision with her. But, we were impressed to hear her say that she realizes that sometimes you gain more out of giving versus getting.

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In this week’s parsha Behaalotecha, G-d commands Moshe to share of his spirit with the seventy elders. By delegating some of his own spirit, the burden on Moshe would be lessened.

But if Moshe gifts a portion of his spirit, doesn’t that diminish Moshe? As the saying goes, “You can't have yo… Read More »

Inner Terrorist

Once, Rabbi Dovber of Lubavitch remained closeted in his room for a few days, refusing to see visitors. It was unprecedented and it seemed that the great Rebbe was involved in a deep spiritual struggle.  His followers could hear him crying endlessly in his room.

When asked about this strange behavior, the Rebbe explained:

“Whenever someone confers with me on spiritual matters, and in particular when one asks me for a path of penance, I endeavor to find their spiritual 'issue' or shortcoming, albeit on a more subtle level, in myself. In doing so, I am able to relate to the person's spiritual standing. Consequently, and being in 'his' shoes, so to speak, I can seek out the most appropriate spiritual remedy.

Earlier this week I w…Read More »

Weak or Week?

 Which Jewish holiday is less than a week but is called Weeks?

Shavuot!

Why is tomorrow’s festival called weeks if it’s only a two-day festival (and one day in Israel)? Sukkot and Pesach are week-long festivals. Yet, it is specifically Shavuot that is called (not a Week, but) Weeks!

The common answer is that the holiday is observed seven weeks after Passover, just as the Jews received the Torah seven weeks after the Exodus from Egypt.

But, isn’t it strange the name a holiday for the time before the holiday begins?

The secret lies in the rituals associated with the holiday. Or, rather, the lack of rituals.

Pesach has matzah. Sukkot has the Four Kinds and the Sukkah. Rosh Hashanah has the Shofar.

But, Shavuot has… Read More »

Drawing Together

When a street lamp is erected, all those seeking light gather around, for light attracts.

HaYom Yom, 13 Teves

I was reminded of this saying from Hayom Yom this past Sunday, when I traveled to New York to comfort my father and his siblings on the passing of my grandfather.

As we sat together and talked about our father/grandfather, I took a broad look around the room. There were cousins that I had barely ever met. Maybe a couple I had never met before. Aunts and uncles, friends, and strangers. And, they all came together to pay respects and to comfort the bereaved.

There is a lot to say about my grandfather, who stood strong as a Shabbat-observant Jew despite the challenges in the 1940s and 1950s. He raised a large family with 7 children… Read More »

The Right Rest

A couple came to me for advice. They were both interested in the relationship and had affection for each other. But, they were misaligned. He liked to connect on weekends, but she was spent by the weekend and wanted private time. She was eager to spend time together on weeknights and he was exhausted and just wanted to collapse on the couch.

Their frustration grew. Not because they didn’t like each other – but because they couldn’t synchronize their schedules and priorities.

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In this week’s double parsha Behar-Bechukotai, we learn about the laws of the Sabbatical year, Shemittah. In Israel, every seventh year, all work on the land is prohibited, and the produce becomes free for the taking.

It’s a year-long… Read More »

Dis-integration

A friend whose wife is in the ICU for cancer treatment. A divorced friend who just got engaged this week. A friend who made a fortune and then lost it. A friend who I haven’t spoken to in over two decades. A friend who just built a $20 million Chabad center. A friend who I still speak to every week.

These were the people I spent last Shabbos with. It was a special reunion of friends from my yeshiva days.

It was a soul experience. We shared hardships and suffering. We enjoyed each other’s successes and simchas.

But, most of all we connected because we put aside our exterior shells, and focused inward. No one was host, no one was guest. No one was teacher, no one was student. We were all just friends – there for each othe… Read More »

Love Your Fellow Self

I have the amazing fortune of spending Shabbat at a class reunion with friends from my yeshiva days. I’m reconnecting with buddies from Massachusetts, Israel, Greece, Miami, London, and beyond. It’s so special.

More special than the fond memories and nostalgia is hearing their successes and life stories. It truly feels so uplifting as each one fargins the other and celebrates their families and journeys.

Some are Rabbis. Some are businessmen. Some are professionals.

But, we are all brothers. And the farbrengens betray a true sense of pride we have in each other.

This week’s double parsha of Acharei-Kedoshim includes the famous words, “Love your fellow as yourself.” The Torah doesn’t just tell us to lo… Read More »

One Child at a Time

In a conversation today, my wife and I mentioned to someone that we have twelve children.  During the conversation, this person causally mentioned our combined family. Apparently, it never dawned upon her that these children might all be the offspring of both of us.  She may have meant well, but it demonstrates a societal bias.

In fact, none of our children were combined at birth either, as we do not have any twins. Actually, we do have a set of Irish twins, who are currently the same age.

I will remain forever proud of my dear wife, the mother of all my children.

Our society prides itself on understanding the human psyche and investing in what’s best for our youth. Yet, the assumption is that less is more. If we have jus… Read More »

Relatively Incomparable

Cleaning the house before Pesach is a long and important process. The Torah doesn’t allow us to own any Chametz at all throughout the days of Passover.

When we have finally cleaned the house of Chametz, sold our Chametz, and searched for Chametz, we are ready to settle in to a Chametz-free zone for Pesach.

The kitchen is changed over from Chametz to Kosher-for-Pesach utensils and dishes. Cupboards with Chametz are out of bounds. It’s a full kitchen makeover – but just for about a week.

Then comes the conclusion of Pesach. As soon as Passover is over, we tear it all down and put away the Passover dishes until next year.

It’s amazing how quickly we go from Pesach to Chametz. It took us weeks of preparation to get t… Read More »

Perfecting the Imperfect

Israeli diplomat Yehuda Avner once visited with the Lubavitcher Rebbe. The conversation turned to the role of the Rebbe.

The Rebbe explained that each person is a candle, and, “I help them light the candle, to help every man and woman fulfill the purpose for which they were created.”

Toward the end of the meeting, Mr. Avner asked the Rebbe, “Has the Rebbe lit my candle?”

“No,” the Rebbe responded.  “I have given you the match. Only you can light your own candle.”

What did the Rebbe mean that, “only you can light your own candle?” Why can’t the Rebbe ignite my candle? Certainly, the Rebbe has inspired thousands of people. Isn’t that considered “lighting my… Read More »

Don’t Skip the Boring Stuff

What’s the most Jewish food eaten on Pesach?

Matzah Balls? Brisket?

What’s the most important food on Rosh Hashanah?

Apple dipped in honey? Round Challah?

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If you have a peek at the Book of Vayikra, which we start reading today, you might be fooled into skipping through it. The first two books of the Torah have lots of fun history and life lessons. But, now we will spend a couple of months navigating some very technical laws about the Temple, ritual purity, priestly rites, and various types of sacrifices. Oh, and sexual morality gets thrown in as well.

The parsha, as well as the book itself, focuses primarily on the laws of sacrifices. “Boring, technical, and ancient,” might be what you are thinking.

But, act… Read More »

E Pluribus Unum

America is celebrating it’s 250th year.

The motto E Pluribus Unum, translated as, “Out of many, one,” is found on the Great Seal of the United States as well as on some US coins.  Its origins date back to 1776 when the committee met to develop a seal.  Originally, the meaning was obvious: out of many states (or colonies) emerge a single nation.

Nowadays, it has also come to represent the diverse nature of the American people.  Out of many races, religions and ethnicities – one nation has emerged.

The beauty of America is not that Idaho and New York are identical. It’s that they are unique – yet still come together to form one country.  Each state is critical. Yet each state’s … Read More »

Sandwiched in Love

No, there aren’t any secret tunnels from our Chabad House to Tehran. And, while there is a long list of finalists for Antisemite of the Week, Tucker Carlson certainly sits at the top.

I won’t give screen time to his antics. But, his remarks give me cause for introspection. The Baal Shem Tov taught that everything we see or hear must be a lesson in our own life and relationship with G-d.

If the word spreading on social media is that Jews are unique and that we have grand aspirations, then let’s analyze that ourselves. Not from a geopolitical perspective – which is driven by bigotry and conspiracies. Rather, from a point of reflection, spirituality, and mission.

Let’s look at this week’s parsha Ki Tisa f… Read More »

This Is Not Who I Am

As my kids try on their Purim costumes, they kvell at the idea that getting dressed up is actually a Jewish thing. In our society, many people get decked out in costumes, say in October for example. But, that is a shallow act devoid of meaning. It celebrates death – not life.

What’s the meaning of costumes on Purim?

First, we need to understand the meaning of clothing altogether. Yes, you need clothing for warmth and modesty. But, is there meaning to different types of clothing – besides from their fashion statement?

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In Judaism, we have always relied on tactile reminders. In contrast to modern gizmos of efficiency, Jewish aides don’t simply serve as tools.  Rather, they are the keys to our souls.

Wearing … Read More »

Taking Off on Their Own

As my daughter gets better at skiing, she is able to do more and more on her own. However, she still sometimes needs me to give her a boost to get her started on tough terrain.

Eventually, she will be like the rest of them, zooming off and leaving Tatty and Mommy in the distance…

I smile as I see my children become independent – and eventually outpace me.

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When G-d instructs the Jewish people to build Him a Sanctuary He says, “Speak to the children of Israel, and have them take for Me a donation; from every person whose heart inspires him to generosity, you shall take My donation.”

This week’s parsha, Teruma, describes the many details of the Mishkan.  The Jewish people were very generous and offere… Read More »

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