BAR MITZVAH GUIDELINES
Introduction
At Chabad Lubavitch of Idaho, our primary goal is preparing our children to live Jewish lives with pride, knowledge, and enthusiasm. When your child reaches the age of Bar Mitzvah, we share with your family the privilege and responsibility of welcoming him into the adult Jewish community. Together, we hope to instill the meaning and significance of the occasion, to celebrate appropriately, and to honor your child's place among the Jewish people. We have prepared the following guidelines to assist you in planning for this joyous occasion.
Who can become Bar Mitzvah at Chabad?
In order to hold your child's ceremony and/or celebration at Chabad, the following requirements must be met:
Your child must be born to a Jewish mother or converted under halachic auspices. If the mother, maternal grandmother, or maternal great-grandmother was converted to Judaism, please set up an appointment with the Rabbi to determine if those conversions met with the halachic standards for conversion.
If the prospective Bar Mitzvah boy, his mother, maternal grandmother, or maternal great-grandmother were adopted, we will need documentation that shows that the birth mother was Jewish or that a proper conversion was performed.
According to Jewish Law, religious identity is determined solely by the mother. An intermarried family where the father is not Jewish does not affect the Jewish identity of the child.
Upon confirming a date for the Bar Mitzvah ceremony, we require the family to attend a minimum of twice a month for Shabbat morning services (held weekly at 10:00 am). This will ensure that your child is familiar with the services, and provide for smoother sailing on the big day.
Age & Dates
Bar Mitzvah is the day on which a child becomes responsible for Mitzvot and accountable for both positive and negative behaviors under Jewish law. According to the Talmud, this takes place at age 13 for boys. This happens automatically on their Jewish birth date, regardless of the way the day is marked. The ceremony and celebration should take place as close to the Jewish birthday as possible. Each year, the Jewish and secular birthdays may fluctuate by as much as a few weeks. We therefore need to make sure that your preferred date is indeed after your child's 13th Jewish birthday. Doing the ceremony before the 13th birthday is not acceptable according to Jewish law.
We recommend reaching out to schedule the Bar Mitzvah ceremony at least 12 months prior to your child's 13th birthday, and ideally 18 months prior. To choose a date, set up an initial meeting with the Rabbi to determine your child's Jewish birthday. Your child's Bar Mitzvah ceremony should be as close as possible to the date, but not before it.
Bar Mitzvah Ceremony & Celebration
Shabbat or Yom Tov Bar Mitzvah Torah Reading: The Bar Mitzvah ceremony takes place on Saturday morning from 10:00 am - 12:30 pm and is followed by a Kiddush luncheon. Men and women are seated separately for the traditional service but are joined later for the Kiddush luncheon. The service includes a morning Shabbat service from 10:00 - 11:00, the Torah reading from about 11:00- 11:45, speeches by the Bar Mitzvah boy and the Rabbi, and the concluding service from about 11:45 - 12:30. Please note that at a Shabbat or Yom Tov Bar Mitzvah no photography or music will be permitted.
If selecting a Shabbat Bar Mitzvah ceremony, our regular attendees will join in the Kiddush luncheon. Catering must include our regular attendees in addition to your guests.
Weekday Bar Mitzvah Torah Reading: The Torah is read every Monday and Thursday morning, as well as Rosh Chodesh. This provides an alternative to a Shabbat Bar Mitzvah. Many people prefer this for several reasons: 1) The service is shorter and easier for first timers; 2) Start time is more flexible; 3) Music and photography are permitted.
Weekday Celebration and Alternate Weekday Bar Mitzvah Ceremony: A family may choose to hold a weekday celebration in addition to the ceremony. This is typically held in the evening.
At Chabad we believe that a Bar Mitzvah is a time for commitment to Jewish life. The Torah Reading is a skill that will rarely be utilized by a Bar Mitzvah boy for the rest of their lives, especially if they do not learn the Trop itself, but just memorize the cantillation for their Torah portion. An alternative to reading the Torah is to be called to the Torah (aliya) without reading the Torah. Instead of reading the Torah, the Bar Mitzvah boy will prepare a deep Torah insight that will be shared at the celebration. Despite the fact that this is not as popular in recent American Jewish culture, it is in line with historic Jewish norms.
Please reach out to the Rabbi if you would like to explore this option.
The Kiddush Luncheon and any other Bar Mitzvah Celebrations held at the Chabad Jewish Center must be kosher and adhere to our kosher guidelines .
After completing registration, an initial meeting will be held, during which families can select a date, ceremony type, and celebration type.
Bar Mitzvah Preparation
The Bar Mitzvah boy will begin preparation classes at the determined time prior to his Bar Mitzvah. Classes are typically semi-private, including all upcoming Bar mitzvah boys. The boys study together for approximately 20-30 minutes, followed or preceded by private study for approximately 15 minutes.
Private lessons are also available for 30-45 minutes and must be set up directly with the Rabbi.
Classes are typically held every other week and advance to once a week as the Bar mitzvah date approaches.
The Bar Mitzvah Preparation includes a multi-track system.
- Track 1: Curriculum about the meaning and significance of being Jewish and becoming a Bar Mitzvah.
- Track 2: Learning how to put on Tefillin, the accompanying blessings, its meaning, makeup, and relevance.
- Track 3: Studying the Torah reading, accompanying blessings, Haftorah reading (if chosen), and the meaning and relevance of the portions read during the ceremony.
- Track 3: Preparation and assistance for the Bar Mitzvah speech and Dvar Torah.
- Track 4: Optional/Alternate in-depth Torah study
- Track 5: Optional study for leading of part of the services (serving as Chazan).
Fee Structure
In order to ensure every Jewish boy can have a Bar Mitzvah, Chabad Lubavitch of Idaho charges a flat-rate for Bar Mitzvah preparation and training (regardless of the number of sessions). The fee is $1500 and includes a mandatory pair of tefillin (valued at $850).
Private lessons are billed at $90 per lesson, plus a mandatory fee of $850 for tefillin.
NO ONE WILL BE TURNED AWAY DUE TO LACK OF FUNDS.
The above fees do not include the Bar Mitzvah Celebration, Kiddush luncheon, or room rental fees. They only include preparing the Bar Mitzvah boy for his Bar Mitzvah.
