“None of the above.”
That’s often the answer we give when faced with tough choices. When placed between a rock and a hard place, what should we do? Throughout history, Jews have faced these types of challenges.
No-win situations are never pleasant. Even when we know the outcome, we cringe. Certainly, when the results are unknown, we balk at the moment.
How can I get the courage to speak up when a colleague is hurting someone else? Either way, I’ll end up hurting someone…
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In this week’s parsha, Vayishlach, Yaakov (Jacob) faced a similar dilemma. He was returning to Israel after a long absence. 34 years prior he fled because his brother Eisav (Esau) sought to kill him. When he heard that Eisav was approaching him with a welcome party of 400 armed men, he was worried. What should he do?
He devised a three-pronged approach.
He sent lavish gifts to appease his brother. He prayed to the Almighty. He prepared for battle.
Yaakov did not look forward to any of these tactics.
He was frustrated that he was forced to offer gifts to someone who wished him rather dead than alive.
He was concerned that he was not worthy of G-d’s protection (due to all the miracles that already benefitted him).
He was fearful of warfare. He was afraid of his family being killed, and even more afraid that he may be forced to kill others.
Yet, he did all three.
Yaakov realized that the easier path would be to avoid all of the above; to flee from the situation. But, he also accepted that every challenge presented to us comes from G-d. And, if G-d gave him this circumstance, he must have it within himself to persevere.
Yaakov chose to swallow hard and do what was extremely uncomfortable. In fact, prayer, appeasement and battle are all drastically different approaches, demanding conflicting emotions and actions.
He put aside his own perspective and emotions.
And, he rose to the occasion.
Interestingly, instead of harming him, Eisav embraced his brother. They parted ways without incident.
Sometimes, it’s simply putting aside our own discomfort that leads to the best results.
What might seem like a no-win situation can actually be a win-win.