Yossi and Yankel are on a train across Poland, each on his way to meet a prospective bride on the other side of the country. Halfway there, Yankel turns to Yossi and says, "Forget about this whole marriage thing. I just don't like the idea." So he gets off at the next stop and makes his way back home.
Meanwhile, Yossi continues on and is met at the final destination by the mothers of the two prospective brides. When the mothers realize what has happened, they instantly begin to fight over whose daughter should wed this precious little boychik. "He's mine!" cries one. "Not on your life," cries the other, "He will marry my daughter!"
After bickering for a while, Yossi and the two mothers decide to go the Rabbi and ask him to resolve the situation. In the grand tradition of the ancients, the Rabbi replies, "Well, there is only one solution to this problem. Cut the boy in half, and each of you will take half home with you."
At this, the first mother looks shocked, while the second mother grins and cries emphatically, "Yes! Cut him in half!" The Rabbi points to the second mother and says, "THAT is the real mother-in-law. Case closed."
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We are all familiar with the wisdom of King Solomon in the story of two mothers fighting over one baby. His sage advice to split the baby resolved the dispute. But it also taught us something powerful about the Jewish perspective on parenthood.
To better understand this, let’s look at the remarkable story of the Akeida in this week’s parsha, Vayeira. Avraham is commanded to sacrifice his son Yitzchak on Mount Moriah (known today as the Temple Mount). It’s only a test and Yitzchak was never meant to be killed.
But why would the Almighty command Avraham to do something so morally reprehensible as to kill one’s own child? Even after we appreciate that G-d never meant it as such (He said, “Bring him up,” not “Slaughter him”), why allow such an idea to foster in Avraham’s mind?
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There are many traditional explanations, but Rabbi Jonathan Sacks (former Chief Rabbi of Great Britain) offers a different twist:
Hashem’s intention was never to have Yitzchak killed. Nor did He intend that Avraham believe so. What G-d was teaching Avraham – and demanding of him – was that children are not the property of their parents. Contrary to the culture at the time, a father does not own his son, nor does a mother own her daughter. Rather, all children really belong to G-d. It is for this reason that the Torah also commands that firstborn children should be offered as a (spiritual) gift to G-d.
Well, if children are not our property, then are parents off the hook? Absolutely not. The Torah considers it our duty and privilege to care for them. Just as Judaism considers reproduction to be a duty versus a right, it further considers the products of reproduction – our offspring – our duty versus our right. Parenthood is a responsibility and privilege that we must uphold – to raise G-d’s children in the fashion that He expects.
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This, perhaps, is the more profound wisdom that King Solomon is teaching. It was not only a gimmick to discover the real mother. It was, rather, a deep truth that he was revealing. Neither of you is the real mother in the popular sense. The child truly belongs to G-d. The woman that respects and epitomizes the duty with which parents are entrusted regarding their children – is a genuine parent.
When we recognize that we are nurturing G-d’s children, we become true parents. When we are true parents, our children can be true children.