As parents, we know that educating our children requires lots of discerning judgment. When a child misbehaves, it may be time for reminder and reprimand or, if the situation warrants, punishment. When a child displays exceptional positive behavior, rewards are offered.
But how should parents interact with their children after meting out punishment? Should they immediately revert back to the good old days – as if nothing happened – since the child “did the time?” Or should parents and educators still be airing their threats, implementing a sort of probation? Do we switch gears back immediately, or should we still be showing who’s boss?
What about during the punishment period? If a child is grounded, do we keep the ‘tough guy’ face on until they serve their time, or should we soften up once we have decreed their penalization or – more precisely – learning lesson?
***
The Jews made a grave mistake when they opted to follow the advice of the spies. This week’s parsha, Shelach, tells the story of ten spies who delivered a negative report about the Holy Land, resulting in a near mutiny. The Jews decided they wanted no part of Israel.
G-d was not too pleased with the Jews – to say the least. Aside from punishing the spies themselves, the Almighty decreed that none of the Jews of that generation would enter the Holy Land. Instead they would wander for forty years – until the last of them died of natural causes – and their children would conquer and settle the Promised Land.
Nonetheless, immediately after issuing His verdict, G-d told Moshe, “Speak to the children of Israel and you shall say to them: when you arrive in the Land to which I am bringing you, and you eat from the bread of the Land, you shall set aside a gift for the L-rd.”
The Torah goes on to explain the details of several mitzvot, amongst them the laws of Challah.
Rashi points out that by instructing the Jews about laws pertaining to the Holy Land – a land regarding which they had just been issued a ban – the Almighty reassured them that the Jewish people will, in the end, enter the Land.
In other words, stern judgment is sometimes necessary. However, compassion and love can – and should – always be demonstrated once the sentence has been rendered.
Though they had sinned, they were still G-d’s children. He never rescinded His punishment, but He did remind them that their children would merit to enter the Promised Land.
***
Disciplining a child is from time to time the duty of a parent. But loving a child is always the duty of a parent.