This past Sunday Esther and I took the family to Sagehen Reservoir for a fabulous day trip. We ended up getting a late start, and subsequently, getting home late at night (for the kids). We figured the latter part of the day would be better than the earlier segment, as the weekend would be nearing its end, thus affording a less crowded outing. But, we underestimated the drive time and the fun we would have.
All too often I find myself playing the blame game. If I’m late for a meeting it’s because another meeting went overtime. If my kids are testing my patience, it’s their fault, not mine.
Here too, it was easily to fault getting the kids to bed so late on a number of factors that were “out of my control.”
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In this week’s Parsha of Re’ei, the Torah enjoins us to “cleave to G-d” (Devarim/Deuteronomy 12:5). The Sages of the Talmud interpret this commandment to mean that we must “cleave to His ways: bestow kindness, bury the dead, and visit the sick, just as the Holy One, blessed is He, did.” After all, we cannot cleave to Him physical for he is not a physical being, so the mitzvah is to follow in His sacred and admirable ways.
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Reading this commentary, reminded me of my own inner dialogue of blame. Who, I mused, does G-d blame when things go wrong? True, they never can go “wrong” for nothing can go against His will. But figuratively, there are moments when things do go “wrong.” (Chassidic philosophy explains that there are different levels of Divine expression. Thus, what may be “wrong” on one level is the goal and “inner desire” of another degree of G-dly energy.)
Ultimately, G-d cannot pass the buck. It’s His universe and He only has Himself to look at in the mirror.
Perhaps this is one lesson from the Torah’s message to cleave to G-d. Try putting yourself in G-d’s shoes when you are looking to blame someone. Instead of searching for a scapegoat, you’ll be figuring out a way to plan better next time.