One Child at a Time

In a conversation today, my wife and I mentioned to someone that we have twelve children.  During the conversation, this person causally mentioned our combined family. Apparently, it never dawned upon her that these children might all be the offspring of both of us.  She may have meant well, but it demonstrates a societal bias.

In fact, none of our children were combined at birth either, as we do not have any twins. Actually, we do have a set of Irish twins, who are currently the same age.

I will remain forever proud of my dear wife, the mother of all my children.

Our society prides itself on understanding the human psyche and investing in what’s best for our youth. Yet, the assumption is that less is more. If we have just one or two children, we can focus on them more, care for them better, and support their dreams more easily.

Oh, and let’s not forget that the best time to have children – according to modern statistics – is well after the biological clock has started ticking. If we wait – the argument goes – until we are financially stable, in an established home, and in a many-years-long relationship, then we will be best-suited to deliver what our children demand from us.

What’s the Jewish take on this?

In this week’s double-parsha Tazria-Metzora, we find some of the laws of childbirth.

One instruction from the Torah is that a mother is obligated to offer a sacrifice at the Holy Temple at a certain point after she gave birth. This applies to each and every child.

One can only imagine that a new mother might have other priorities besides for making a trip to Jerusalem. Why the need for an offering?

Some commentaries point to the ritual impurity effectuated via childbirth as the cause for this ritual. She needs to reenter a state of holiness, and the sacrifice is part of this process.

However, nowhere else – besides for the communal Pilgrimage Festivals – do we find the Torah insisting that an individual rid themselves immediately of their state of impurity. If someone became impure due to contact with the dead, for example, they may choose when to re-engage in sacred acts.  Why here does the Torah insist that she rush to the Holy Temple?

Instead of looking at the requirement as a burden, perhaps we can look at it as a privilege. G-d is so excited at the birth of a new child – and so proud of this woman’s new role – that Almighty G-d insists on a personal encounter. The ritual is G-d’s gratitude, vote-of-confidence, and mandate – all wrapped in one.

And, a new offering was required for each child. Because each child is sacred and irreplaceable.

What emerges from the parsha is the Torah’s attitude to children – they are each an infinite blessing. Taken from this approach, no career, neighborhood, college degree, or bank account can ever be adequate for a priceless child.

Instead, the Torah would rather we focus on giving the maximum energy and commitment we can to our children. Our best energy is when our bodies are younger. Our best commitment means prioritizing our lives around our children. Not by dropping them off at soccer. Or, by paying for endless gadgets and goodies. But by listening to them and genuinely considering them a blessing, not a burden.

When we consider each child a blessing, G-d will certainly act in kind – and shower His infinite blessings upon all His priceless children.