Rabbi's Blog

It’s hard to know with whom America is negotiating.

We hear conflicting reports by the hour – or minute – about whether a deal with Iran is imminent or not. Or, whether any real negotiations are actually happening.

It reminds me of the business saying, “Never negotiate against yourself!”

This principle might help us understand the fatal flaw in this week’s parsha.

In Parshat Shelach we read about Moshe sending spies to scout out the Land of Israel, then known as Canaan. Unfortunately, they returned with a negative report, leading to the catastrophic punishment of wandering in the wilderness for 40 years. Only, the next generation would enter the Promised Land.

How did the spies – who had witnes… Read More »

My daughter informed us of a dilemma she has at her dormitory. She can choose roommates who will give her a great time or she can choose roommates who may not be her best friends, but who look up to her and need her leadership. This was the choice her dorm counselor gave her.

My wife and I left the decision with her. But, we were impressed to hear her say that she realizes that sometimes you gain more out of giving versus getting.

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In this week’s parsha Behaalotecha, G-d commands Moshe to share of his spirit with the seventy elders. By delegating some of his own spirit, the burden on Moshe would be lessened.

But if Moshe gifts a portion of his spirit, doesn’t that diminish Moshe? As the saying goes, “You can't have yo… Read More »

Once, Rabbi Dovber of Lubavitch remained closeted in his room for a few days, refusing to see visitors. It was unprecedented and it seemed that the great Rebbe was involved in a deep spiritual struggle.  His followers could hear him crying endlessly in his room.

When asked about this strange behavior, the Rebbe explained:

“Whenever someone confers with me on spiritual matters, and in particular when one asks me for a path of penance, I endeavor to find their spiritual 'issue' or shortcoming, albeit on a more subtle level, in myself. In doing so, I am able to relate to the person's spiritual standing. Consequently, and being in 'his' shoes, so to speak, I can seek out the most appropriate spiritual remedy.

Earlier this week I w…Read More »

 Which Jewish holiday is less than a week but is called Weeks?

Shavuot!

Why is tomorrow’s festival called weeks if it’s only a two-day festival (and one day in Israel)? Sukkot and Pesach are week-long festivals. Yet, it is specifically Shavuot that is called (not a Week, but) Weeks!

The common answer is that the holiday is observed seven weeks after Passover, just as the Jews received the Torah seven weeks after the Exodus from Egypt.

But, isn’t it strange the name a holiday for the time before the holiday begins?

The secret lies in the rituals associated with the holiday. Or, rather, the lack of rituals.

Pesach has matzah. Sukkot has the Four Kinds and the Sukkah. Rosh Hashanah has the Shofar.

But, Shavuot has… Read More »

When a street lamp is erected, all those seeking light gather around, for light attracts.

HaYom Yom, 13 Teves

I was reminded of this saying from Hayom Yom this past Sunday, when I traveled to New York to comfort my father and his siblings on the passing of my grandfather.

As we sat together and talked about our father/grandfather, I took a broad look around the room. There were cousins that I had barely ever met. Maybe a couple I had never met before. Aunts and uncles, friends, and strangers. And, they all came together to pay respects and to comfort the bereaved.

There is a lot to say about my grandfather, who stood strong as a Shabbat-observant Jew despite the challenges in the 1940s and 1950s. He raised a large family with 7 children… Read More »

A couple came to me for advice. They were both interested in the relationship and had affection for each other. But, they were misaligned. He liked to connect on weekends, but she was spent by the weekend and wanted private time. She was eager to spend time together on weeknights and he was exhausted and just wanted to collapse on the couch.

Their frustration grew. Not because they didn’t like each other – but because they couldn’t synchronize their schedules and priorities.

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In this week’s double parsha Behar-Bechukotai, we learn about the laws of the Sabbatical year, Shemittah. In Israel, every seventh year, all work on the land is prohibited, and the produce becomes free for the taking.

It’s a year-long… Read More »

A friend whose wife is in the ICU for cancer treatment. A divorced friend who just got engaged this week. A friend who made a fortune and then lost it. A friend who I haven’t spoken to in over two decades. A friend who just built a $20 million Chabad center. A friend who I still speak to every week.

These were the people I spent last Shabbos with. It was a special reunion of friends from my yeshiva days.

It was a soul experience. We shared hardships and suffering. We enjoyed each other’s successes and simchas.

But, most of all we connected because we put aside our exterior shells, and focused inward. No one was host, no one was guest. No one was teacher, no one was student. We were all just friends – there for each othe… Read More »

I have the amazing fortune of spending Shabbat at a class reunion with friends from my yeshiva days. I’m reconnecting with buddies from Massachusetts, Israel, Greece, Miami, London, and beyond. It’s so special.

More special than the fond memories and nostalgia is hearing their successes and life stories. It truly feels so uplifting as each one fargins the other and celebrates their families and journeys.

Some are Rabbis. Some are businessmen. Some are professionals.

But, we are all brothers. And the farbrengens betray a true sense of pride we have in each other.

This week’s double parsha of Acharei-Kedoshim includes the famous words, “Love your fellow as yourself.” The Torah doesn’t just tell us to lo… Read More »

In a conversation today, my wife and I mentioned to someone that we have twelve children.  During the conversation, this person causally mentioned our combined family. Apparently, it never dawned upon her that these children might all be the offspring of both of us.  She may have meant well, but it demonstrates a societal bias.

In fact, none of our children were combined at birth either, as we do not have any twins. Actually, we do have a set of Irish twins, who are currently the same age.

I will remain forever proud of my dear wife, the mother of all my children.

Our society prides itself on understanding the human psyche and investing in what’s best for our youth. Yet, the assumption is that less is more. If we have jus… Read More »

Cleaning the house before Pesach is a long and important process. The Torah doesn’t allow us to own any Chametz at all throughout the days of Passover.

When we have finally cleaned the house of Chametz, sold our Chametz, and searched for Chametz, we are ready to settle in to a Chametz-free zone for Pesach.

The kitchen is changed over from Chametz to Kosher-for-Pesach utensils and dishes. Cupboards with Chametz are out of bounds. It’s a full kitchen makeover – but just for about a week.

Then comes the conclusion of Pesach. As soon as Passover is over, we tear it all down and put away the Passover dishes until next year.

It’s amazing how quickly we go from Pesach to Chametz. It took us weeks of preparation to get t… Read More »

Israeli diplomat Yehuda Avner once visited with the Lubavitcher Rebbe. The conversation turned to the role of the Rebbe.

The Rebbe explained that each person is a candle, and, “I help them light the candle, to help every man and woman fulfill the purpose for which they were created.”

Toward the end of the meeting, Mr. Avner asked the Rebbe, “Has the Rebbe lit my candle?”

“No,” the Rebbe responded.  “I have given you the match. Only you can light your own candle.”

What did the Rebbe mean that, “only you can light your own candle?” Why can’t the Rebbe ignite my candle? Certainly, the Rebbe has inspired thousands of people. Isn’t that considered “lighting my… Read More »

What’s the most Jewish food eaten on Pesach?

Matzah Balls? Brisket?

What’s the most important food on Rosh Hashanah?

Apple dipped in honey? Round Challah?

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If you have a peek at the Book of Vayikra, which we start reading today, you might be fooled into skipping through it. The first two books of the Torah have lots of fun history and life lessons. But, now we will spend a couple of months navigating some very technical laws about the Temple, ritual purity, priestly rites, and various types of sacrifices. Oh, and sexual morality gets thrown in as well.

The parsha, as well as the book itself, focuses primarily on the laws of sacrifices. “Boring, technical, and ancient,” might be what you are thinking.

But, act… Read More »

America is celebrating it’s 250^th year.

The motto E Pluribus Unum, translated as, “Out of many, one,” is found on the Great Seal of the United States as well as on some US coins.  Its origins date back to 1776 when the committee met to develop a seal.  Originally, the meaning was obvious: out of many states (or colonies) emerge a single nation.

Nowadays, it has also come to represent the diverse nature of the American people.  Out of many races, religions and ethnicities – one nation has emerged.

The beauty of America is not that Idaho and New York are identical. It’s that they are unique – yet still come together to form one country.  Each state is critical. Yet each state’s … Read More »