On Tuesday, our daughter Mushka got engaged to Mendel Bluming from Chapel Hill, North Carolina. We can’t wait to welcome Mendel to our family and community!
Like Mushka, Mendel grew up as a young Shliach of the Rebbe. They share many ideals and have similar backgrounds.
On the other hand, North Carolina and Idaho are worlds apart.
Bringing the two of them together requires a third partner – Hashem.
In finding a life partner, much thought needs to go into the unique qualities of a potential soul mate. Many suggestions may be offered, but careful attention must be given to values, compatibility, and emotional connection. The Jewish way in dating and marriage reminds us that genuine effort must be invested into finding our bashert. We might have many friends, neighbors, and compatriots – but only one special person qualifies as a spouse.
We don’t want to marry a mirror image of ourselves. We want to create a lifelong bond with someone who shares our deepest goals and passions – but has their own perspective and personality.
Unfortunately, Korach never got that memo. Korach, after whom this week’s parsha is named, led a rebellion against Moshe. His argument was simple: Everyone is equally holy. We were all created by Almighty G-d and there is no reason that Moshe and Ahron should be head and shoulders above the rest of us. Korach was the archetype of populism and egalitarianism. He railed against the “elitist” system of Moshe’s leadership.
But, Korach was wrong. And, his endeavor ended in miserable failure, as the earth swallowed him and his comrades. Why was Korach wrong?
The Lubavitcher Rebbe, whose yahrzeit will be observed this Sunday, explained that Korach failed to internalize the Torah’s view on equality and purpose.
Let’s use time as an example. Every moment is a gift from G-d. Every moment is equally indispensable. If squandered, every moment is equally lost. But, not every moment is truly equal in its purpose and function. A moment of necessary sleep is 100% fulfilling its purpose. But, it pales in comparison to a moment spent saving a life. Both moments wholly fulfill their purpose. The purposes, however, are radically different.
Similarly, every human being is equally irreplaceable. Their unique roles, however, are not equal. Realizing the unique mission I have is integral to stepping up to the spiritual imprint that G-d expects me to leave in this world. If we are all equal in all respects, we are, in turn, replaceable.
Korach’s defeat reminds us to celebrate the individuality of each person. When we respect the differences between us, we are able to complement each other. This is the secret to Jewish unity.
Unity is not achieved by seeing everyone as similar. That just ends up erasing people’s identity and denying them the opportunity to claim their distinct purpose.
Having a leader like Moshe is critical. And, recognizing the crucial contribution of each person is a tool that can help many a marriage.
We wish our best to Mendel and Mushka – and thank them for the important reminder for all of us.