“I promise not to eat any more ice cream this month.”
“I promise not to go on vacation this year.”
“I promise not to attend the social this week.”
Do you think these are good vows to undertake? Or do you feel they are ill-advised?
***
At the beginning of this week’s double Parshiyot of Matot and Masei, we are taught the rules of oaths.
In Pirkei Avot / Ethics of the Fathers, vows are considered a safeguard of restraint. By prohibiting yourself (through vows) from indulging in even that which the Torah permits, you can effectively fulfill the Torah’s command to “sanctify yourself [even] with that which is permitted to you.”
As the Talmud states, “Asceticism leads to purity, purity leads to holiness, holiness leads to humility, humility leads to fear of sin, fear of sin leads to saintliness, saintliness leads to the possession of the holy spirit, and the holy spirit leads to eternal life.”
It can’t hurt to swear off that ice cream. It will boost your inner strength and point you toward a life of ascetic sanctity.
Yet, Maimonides seems to argue the opposite:
Our Sages directed man to abstain only from those things that the Torah denies him, and not to forbid himself from partaking in permitted things by taking vows and oaths. Rhetorically, they asked, “Is that which the Torah prohibited not sufficient for you? Why must you add further prohibitions?”
So, what is the true Jewish approach? Indulge or abstain?
***
When my son broke his arm, he needed to wear a cast for a month. Without the cast his bones were in danger of growing crooked. The cast was critical in preventing him from developing a warped arm.
He couldn’t wait to take it off! As soon as he got the green light from the doctor, off it went. He was elated to be able to explore again, play sports, and do all the other activities that he missed.
Would it be advisable to keep the cast after his arm had fully healed? Obviously, that would be silly. True, the cast protects against crooked growth, but that doesn’t outweigh the hindrance of activities and other side effects of wearing a cast.
***
Vows are like a cast. If my nature is to chase after something crooked, I better put on a cast. A person who cannot stop eating ice cream needs to swear it off. Otherwise the consequences will be a ‘crooked’ life – health risks, weight gain, interference with responsibilities, etc. Same holds true for vacation. If I am spending money and time that I cannot afford to continuously vacation, maybe it’s time to pledge not to take that cruise I’m dreaming of.
But, what if I’m not drawn to ice cream? What if I am not socializing at the expense of others? What if I’m not using the evening out with friends to tell Lashon Harah?
In that case, I should not make the vow!
The way the Torah views it, these are opportunities. Opportunities to find Divine meaning and purpose in everything we do. My encounter with another is a chance to share a word of Torah. My vacation is a chance to meditate on where I’m at in life, or to better a relationship. Dinner is an occasion meant to transform mere eating into elevating the physical into the spiritual.
Like casts, vows are powerful tools. When necessary, they are critical to our spiritual progress. When unnecessary, they may block myriad opportunities that lie in front of us.
This Shabbat, as I read about vows, I’ll try to consider which areas in my life need vows. And which areas don’t need vows.