“Weeping is lodged in one side of my heart, and joy is lodged in the other,” states the Zohar, Judaism’s fundamental mystical text.
It’s hard to imagine the absolute presence of two opposite emotions simultaneously. Yet, this is the feeling many of us may have upon receiving the news of Israel signing a ceasefire agreement. Our joy knows no bounds at the hopeful release of hostages who have suffered immeasurable torment.
And, our hearts are shattered at the knowledge that many languish behind, that terrorists are being freed with a promise to make October 7 look like child’s play G-d Forbid, that Hamas will continue to terrorize Israel and the inhabitants of the Gaza Strip.
So, how should we be feeling?
In this week’s Parsha Shemot, Moshe is chosen to lead the Jews out of Egypt. The Torah describes Almighty G-d as listening to the cries of pain and anguish from the Jewish people, and finally deciding to liberate them from their suffering.
So, He reveals Himself to Moshe in a burning bush that is not quite burning.
When Moshe asks G-d for His name, G-d responds, “I will be just as I will be.” It’s a strange response. There are many commentaries who offer explanations of this cryptic reply.
On its surface, however, it seems clear that Hashem does not really want to be labeled by any name at this juncture. Why is G-d being so elusive?
Perhaps, that is exactly the point!
Hashem does not want the Jews to identify Him as Kind or Compassionate. For if so, why did He allow so much slavery, infanticide, and torture in the first place?
Hashem does not want the Jews to identify Him as Disciplined and Judging. For if so, why did He mete out punishment for the Jews more than for the evil Egyptians.
Hashem doesn’t want the Jews to focus on His character. He only wants one thing at this point. He wants commitment to follow His marching orders. He demands of Moshe unwavering devotion – to stand up to Pharaoh; to convince the Jews; to defy his own logic; to give 100% unconditional dedication.
And, this is the devotion Moshe provided – shepherding the Jewish people out of Egypt to serve G-d at Mount Sinai. Even when things got tough, the approach was never about love, wisdom, or compassion. It was always about absolute allegiance and fortitude. Forge ahead – even if you don’t understand.
As we sit here today, it’s okay not to have feelings – or to have mixed feelings.
What Hashem wants from us – as clearly outlined in the Torah and the Code of Jewish Law – is an unwavering commitment to the safety and security of the Jewish people. This will, in fact, be the surest path to peace and stability for all. You don’t understand – nu, that’s not your task!
We may not have clarity on the emotions we should be – or are – feeling. But, we do have marching orders. And, that’s what really matters.
May Almighty G-d bless us all with revealed blessings in every way!