My daughters look forward to Friday. Truth be told, it’s a day with lots of work for them. Since it’s Erev Shabbos there’s a plethora of chores to get done. Cooking, cleaning, setting the table, baths and fresh clothes – Erev Shabbos is a busy day for everyone in our household.
Yet, the girls are excited because they will usher in Shabbat with the lighting of the candles. The older ones can’t wait to can help their younger sisters with this special mitzvah! Starting at three years old, they each light their own candle.
We once had a guest that frowned at this tradition. “How can you let a three-year old kindle a fire?” she exclaimed. “Aren’t you teaching her bad habits?”
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In this week’s parsha Chayei Sarah we learn of Yitzchak’s betrothal to Rivka, which – according to Rashi – occurred at three years old.
The Torah tells that when Yitzchak brought her into the tent, he was finally comforted from the loss of his mother, Sarah. According to the Midrash one of the reasons for Yitzchak’s consolation was that certain miracles returned when Rivka arrived. For example when Sarah was alive, the Shabbat candles would burn from the evening of Shabbat until the evening of the following Shabbat; when she died, this phenomenon ceased; but when Rivka came, it returned.
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The tradition of young children observing this mitzvah is rooted in the Torah.
But, more importantly, it is critical in the spiritual advancement of young girls. Jewish law teaches that the reason children observe commandments before the ages of Bar and Bat Mitzvah is for educational purposes. Certainly, educating girls in the spirit of Shabbat as well as the warmth and light of the Shabbat candles – in a safe manner – will only have positive consequences.
Jewish girls welcoming the Shabbat with candles will brighten the world with peace and holiness.
Excluding our children from Jewish traditions until they are “old enough to choose on their own,” is not only denying them an education and critical soul-nutrition. It’s simply playing with fire.